What's stopping You?

A very simple question and one I can't find the answer of. I've wrecked my brains trying to figure out one reason, one plausible explanation and till now i have come up with nothing..blank. All the exercises just lead to one conclusion- the one I detest 'cause i know, deep within, that it's true. And the conclusion is nothing . To this day I had managed to run away from the question itself, lest the answer, I had managed to hide my inadequacy behind various veils and then  all of a sudden, all the veils were torn down. My friend asked me this question and the nightmares began. 
I realized ( well actually I already knew), that I am the only one in my way, the only one stopping myself. and because it is true, I hate this realization. the new question is- what am I going to do now ? well, honestly I don't know. I don't know how do I start and where do I start. After all its not easy to fight yourself.   

Contrast

Read  this  on Friday morning.

Had a cheese burst pizza the same night. Didn't like it very much. cribbed about it to everyone I could catch hold of. cost of one meal - around 350 bucks.

I didn.t believe in Gandhiji's talisman, neither its relevance nor its significance.. I'm beginning to understand it now.

I Love You

I love you... I love you so much....
I've loved you ever since,
I gained consciousness of who I am .
I was nothing before you, 
I am nothing without you.

You are my life , my breath, my sustenance.
Without you I am but a shadow, a wraith,
You are my light, 
my source of existence.


I love you from the deepest of depths,
with feelings so intense, that I can no longer resist 
the whirlpool that pulls me down, 
In your love, I want to drown..


Yes I'm crazy, Yes I'm insane,
I love you , I want you, I have lusted for you..
and , Yes, denying any of this is vain.
For you I'll do anything, 
to get you, I'll stop at nothing.

My love for you is all consuming,
 This fire burns within me,
In this fire I constantly burn.

Ilove you with such a fervor
that I hate you for what I've become.

I Can't Say I Love you

If I acknowledge it, it becomes real,

And the chasm between us widens.

Atleast now I can see you

Be sure you'll listen if I call you.

But if I acknowledge it, It frightens me that i'll lose you.

My self is shattered in pieces,

Can you wait till I can collect them all?

Can you wait till I find myself,

till I can fill the gap.

Can you wait for me to reach you ?

I know it is too much to ask,

Can you forgive me when I say

That even though I do

I can't say I love you.

NOW

Just opened my fortune cookie on FB and it read - " Now is the time to try something new ". Sometimes I wonder whether really there is a psychic sitting at the other end of FB, processing my requests and telling me exactly what I want to hear. This isn't the first time its happening to me..!! maybe i'm a freak but honestly, its too many times to be just credited as a coincidence. I'm sure FB has some type of psychic mechanism or algorithm.....I wonder how they developed this algo., if at all there is an algo.,..what heuristics did they apply??? Damn this.advance algorithms course..every time I think about the word algorithm..I seem to get lost......

Sorry my bad!! I wandered from the topic at hand again (now you can see why I don't blog often). Getting back to the fortune cookie irrelevant of the fact whether there is a psychic at the other end or its just my mind twisting every word to find something meaningful, the thing is that the cookie was right..so damn right...

'Now' - its such a small, yet such a powerful word. Now describes everything - our past, our future and more importantly, our present, for it is in 'Now' that we live. The past and the future are both defined by what we do now. Infact when I think about it (thanks to one of my friend's status messages) we all, each of us have lived in this eternity, without realising that our share of eternity is now. So yes, now is the right time to try something new, and this gives me hope that at any point in my life I will always have the option of trying something new- beacuse my life is Now .....