Friday, September 17, 2010

Saw a transvestite begging on the road today. If you are in namma Bengaluru and stuck at a traffic signal at some busy crossing, then it's a pretty common site. I mean, I see the same person begging everyday and now I guess she'd have recognized my face and labeled it ( the haughty fellow who never gives even a penny !!). God knows I've had some pretty harrowing experiences with this section of the society. I don't know why the sight of a transvestite begging and making unseemly gestures and remarks, makes me impassive.
Its not that I'm against them or something, or that I hold any sort of prejudice against them. Its just the way they behave and treat themselves, like they have no self respect. I remember, once during a train journey in U.P, i heard a transvestite saying - " arey !! humare saath to bhagwaan ne hi mazaak kiya hai, ab aap bhi karoge ?" 
I mean c'mon, what the f*** !! If you don't respect yourself & take pride in who you are and what you are, how can you expect others to respect you? Respect has to be earned. If you want an equal status in society, well here's the news flash - you'll have to work for it. No one is going to hand it over to you or drop it off the car window into your aanchal at any Bengaluru traffic signal.
I know its a two way road and to some extent ( well actually to a large extent) the society is responsible for your plight. But honestly, have you ever sincerely wanted to change it? If you want people to accept you for who you are, then stop acting like someone or something you aren't. Start being who you are, and I am sure what you are is much more than the roadside beggar/harasser.
For once don't be a thing, I know you don't think yourselves as one. Try being the real person you are -  for once. 

Monday, September 13, 2010

What's stopping You?

A very simple question and one I can't find the answer of. I've wrecked my brains trying to figure out one reason, one plausible explanation and till now i have come up with nothing..blank. All the exercises just lead to one conclusion- the one I detest 'cause i know, deep within, that it's true. And the conclusion is nothing . To this day I had managed to run away from the question itself, lest the answer, I had managed to hide my inadequacy behind various veils and then  all of a sudden, all the veils were torn down. My friend asked me this question and the nightmares began. 
I realized ( well actually I already knew), that I am the only one in my way, the only one stopping myself. and because it is true, I hate this realization. the new question is- what am I going to do now ? well, honestly I don't know. I don't know how do I start and where do I start. After all its not easy to fight yourself.